Dave Chappelle Tells Jerry Seinfeld Why He Only Eats Hard-Boiled Eggs | Netflix Is A Joke

Dave Chappelle Tells Jerry Seinfeld Why He Only Eats Hard-Boiled Eggs | Netflix Is A Joke

(soft music) – I’ll do two hard boiled eggs. – That’s funny. Hard boiled eggs, hard
boiled eggs are great, but people don’t order them. – I don’t– – You just find them in the fridge. – It’s like the safest way, ’cause a guy never touches the eggs. – Oh, it’s untouched! – Yeah, it’s a weird road tic. – So, how’s this quitting
smoking thing gonna happen? How’s this gonna work? – This is my plan, it
was my exit strategy. – Okay.
– So that you still get the fixation of it. (upbeat music)
(coffee splashing) – What is the situation of
maximum physical distress that you ever did a set? – I was about to go on stage and like, as they’re like, there’s all
the ballyhoo, Dave Chappelle! I mean, not to be gross, suddenly, I had to like,
take a (beep) really bad. – Ugh. – But I’m gettin ready to go out. So the question is, can I wait an hour? – Yeah.
– But it was that precarious. I don’t know if I ate somethin’. – Yeah.
– But I did it. – You made the hour. – Yeah, and then I said,
“Good night, everybody!” I got off stage, I walked
directly off stage, jumped in the car, had
to find my (bleep) hotel like a time bomb!
(laughing) – Why didn’t you go to the dressing room? – Because I have a weird quirk. I just can’t do that. – You have no road game. – Yeah, oh yeah.
– You only play home game. (laughing) This is one of the great
things about the rectum. The rectum, it’s really got
the worst job in the body. It’s the lowest, lowest,
rung of the ladder. – You have one job.
– You got one job. – To stay shut. – But the amazing thing about it is that it does have a
little social awareness of things that need to be dealt with. – That’s absolutely.
(laughing) – It’s like, it knew,
look I’m just a rectum, but I see there’s a show going on here and I’m gonna have to hang till this show. So even though he’s on
this very low level, there’s a little awareness. I understand. Guys, hold up,
hold up, he’s got a show. – He’s got 10 more minutes. – What do you mean hold up? It’s none of your business,
I’m in charge here. (laughing)
(coffee splashing) – There was a thing you
said in an interview it was a funny imagery. You said, maybe my show
will be one of those shows that just gets yellow, do you? (laughing)
– Like “The Odd Couple.” – Yeah, ’cause it’s such a precise detail. I knew exactly what,
it’s gonna get yellow. (laughing)
(soft music) – Everybody who has ever done a TV series never stops whining, how
hard, wasn’t it so hard? Yeah, yeah, it was hard, but we created something
and contributed something. Do you feel a little obligated? If you’re able to contribute
that, maybe you should do it? – If sometimes the offering drives. Like, if I had idea, like, it’s a drive. It’s just like idea says, get in the car. I’m like, where am I going?
– Right, yes. – And the idea says, I don’t
know, don’t worry, I’m driving, and then you just get there.
– The idea’s driving. – Sometimes I’m shocked, sometimes
I’m in the (bleep) trunk. The idea takes you where it wants to go. – That’s great. – And then other times,
there’s me, it’s my ego. Like, I should do something.
– I should be driving. – Yeah.
– That’s not good. – No, ’cause there’s no idea in the car. – Right.
(laughing) – It’s just me. That formula doesn’t work. – If the idea is in the car
honking going, let’s go. Pulls up in front of your house. – That’s exactly right.
– Right? And you’re in your pajamas. Get dressed!
– I’m not ready. – I’m not ready
– No, no you can go like this. Where we going? Don’t worry about it,
you’ll see, you’ll see. Yeah, all right.
(upbeat music)

100 thoughts on “Dave Chappelle Tells Jerry Seinfeld Why He Only Eats Hard-Boiled Eggs | Netflix Is A Joke

  1. If Dave Chappelle (2002) saw Dave Chappelle (2019) he would think "fuck, I guess I am gonna be spending a few years in prison"

  2. Juul is killing people left and right dave do NOT smoke i just left the hospital yesterday because i couldnt breath.

  3. Dave stop smoking that shit man that shit ain't any better than cigarettes, its antifreeze your probably smoking

  4. Black coffee and hard boiled eggs y'all living on the edge…and complain ing…hey could y send a couple bran muffins to my two friends…over at table five…a couple of hot jersey buttered muffins…

  5. Dave is weird now since he ran away from illuminati and went to Africa and came back, it's like hes not the same and his voice always sounds like he just woke up from a nap


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    Flat Earth

    Pensacola to Tarpon Springs
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    how about the border of Tennessee to the border of Oklahoma covering the entire state of Arkansas

  7. Damn i can't believe no one has stated the obvious…but a Muslim and a Jew are sitting down and having a good time together….

  8. He's probably shared a joint with every low life in Hollywood and he's worried about the cook touching his eggs? Once he cracks them they from the pan, to the plate.. NO ONE TOUCHES YOUR EGGS DAVE!

  9. "People don't order [hard-boiled eggs]". It wasn't all that long ago when there were bar-bistros in NYC that would have H-B eggs on the counter, free! Just like peanuts at a pub. Peel and eat 'em while drinking a cup o' coffee or havin' a scotch. I feel bad for Jerry that he never got to experience that.

  10. man that whole rectum thing. There has been at least once or twice in my life where I had a conversation with it and asked it, "Hey, are we good for awhile? I'm about to drive home and it's going to be a few hours before we get there and there is no where safe to stop." Yeah everything is good. 30 minutes in, emergency klaxons start going off, red lights start spinning, steam starts spewing from all directions and Scotty from engineering is telling me he can no longer hold it in, he doesn't have the power. At this point there is no arguing that my rectum has just flat out lied to me. With the emergency turtle poop situation in full swing there is only racing home as fast as you can hoping a cop doesn't pull you over because as soon as he does that's it, the bulkheads burst and there is a good chance of my car and I going to jail covered in shit.

  11. That is why these men will be remembered as the greatest comic geniuses of our generation. Thank you gentlemen, I am a better human being and this is a much more fun life because you decide to contribute something.

  12. Imagine having a nice dinner out with your family and Jerry Seinfeld comes up to you out of nowhere saying "You know one of the great things about the rectum? The rectum…"

  13. Sounds like Dave & Jerry would enjoy some anus energy.

    https://youtu.be/0Hv8uuEAXAQ – Master you Anus Energy, Mantak Chia on London Real

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