(soft music) – I’ll do two hard boiled eggs. – That’s funny. Hard boiled eggs, hard
boiled eggs are great, but people don’t order them. – I don’t– – You just find them in the fridge. – It’s like the safest way, ’cause a guy never touches the eggs. – Oh, it’s untouched! – Yeah, it’s a weird road tic. – So, how’s this quitting
smoking thing gonna happen? How’s this gonna work? – This is my plan, it
was my exit strategy. – Okay.
– So that you still get the fixation of it. (upbeat music)
(coffee splashing) – What is the situation of
maximum physical distress that you ever did a set? – I was about to go on stage and like, as they’re like, there’s all
the ballyhoo, Dave Chappelle! I mean, not to be gross, suddenly, I had to like,
take a (beep) really bad. – Ugh. – But I’m gettin ready to go out. So the question is, can I wait an hour? – Yeah.
– But it was that precarious. I don’t know if I ate somethin’. – Yeah.
– But I did it. – You made the hour. – Yeah, and then I said,
“Good night, everybody!” I got off stage, I walked
directly off stage, jumped in the car, had
to find my (bleep) hotel like a time bomb!
(laughing) – Why didn’t you go to the dressing room? – Because I have a weird quirk. I just can’t do that. – You have no road game. – Yeah, oh yeah.
– You only play home game. (laughing) This is one of the great
things about the rectum. The rectum, it’s really got
the worst job in the body. It’s the lowest, lowest,
rung of the ladder. – You have one job.
– You got one job. – To stay shut. – But the amazing thing about it is that it does have a
little social awareness of things that need to be dealt with. – That’s absolutely.
(laughing) – It’s like, it knew,
look I’m just a rectum, but I see there’s a show going on here and I’m gonna have to hang till this show. So even though he’s on
this very low level, there’s a little awareness. I understand. Guys, hold up,
hold up, he’s got a show. – He’s got 10 more minutes. – What do you mean hold up? It’s none of your business,
I’m in charge here. (laughing)
(coffee splashing) – There was a thing you
said in an interview it was a funny imagery. You said, maybe my show
will be one of those shows that just gets yellow, do you? (laughing)
– Like “The Odd Couple.” – Yeah, ’cause it’s such a precise detail. I knew exactly what,
it’s gonna get yellow. (laughing)
(soft music) – Everybody who has ever done a TV series never stops whining, how
hard, wasn’t it so hard? Yeah, yeah, it was hard, but we created something
and contributed something. Do you feel a little obligated? If you’re able to contribute
that, maybe you should do it? – If sometimes the offering drives. Like, if I had idea, like, it’s a drive. It’s just like idea says, get in the car. I’m like, where am I going?
– Right, yes. – And the idea says, I don’t
know, don’t worry, I’m driving, and then you just get there.
– The idea’s driving. – Sometimes I’m shocked, sometimes
I’m in the (bleep) trunk. The idea takes you where it wants to go. – That’s great. – And then other times,
there’s me, it’s my ego. Like, I should do something.
– I should be driving. – Yeah.
– That’s not good. – No, ’cause there’s no idea in the car. – Right.
(laughing) – It’s just me. That formula doesn’t work. – If the idea is in the car
honking going, let’s go. Pulls up in front of your house. – That’s exactly right.
– Right? And you’re in your pajamas. Get dressed!
– I’m not ready. – I’m not ready
– No, no you can go like this. Where we going? Don’t worry about it,
you’ll see, you’ll see. Yeah, all right.