The #1 Weight Loss Method: Calorie Counting? – BEXLIFE

The #1 Weight Loss Method: Calorie Counting? – BEXLIFE

Michael: What I would try to do is get people
to associate weight loss with health. Rebekah: You’re just getting way too radical.
That’s too much. Weight loss and health? Michael: Associated with health. Yeah, they’re
not really connected, are they? Rebekah: We just shot two videos on the 80/10/10
diet. We talked a lot about veganism in these videos. The first was, are people meant to
be vegan, which I think that people are going to be surprised by your answer. Michael: Yeah, which is, no. But I would love
to see everybody be vegan. Rebekah: What? Spoiler! Watch the video anyway.
You just ruined – now, no one is going to go over. No, now they will, coming from a
20-year vegan. But this one, we touched on in the podcast that we did for you and the
short excerpt that we did for my channel a few weeks back or several weeks back now about
calories in/calories and the true formula for weight loss because a lot of people are
coming to me for weight loss. They want to know and they want quick weight loss, they
want weight loss that lasts though. And I keep getting this comment that it really just
comes down to calories in and calories out. And I want to talk too about why that’s
a problematic statement. Rebekah: It could be defined as a lot of things.
I mean we talked about like what’s the definition of vegan? What’s the definition of 80/10/10?
What are the things involved? What is the source of calories that are coming in? It’s
the problem. I’ve seen a lot of people really frustrated and struggled trying to exercise
their way out of a bad diet. I mean to some degree it works because you create such a
demand on your body that it will start to burn fatty tissue and things like that. It
will use calories. But it’s not only that – I like to think
of it as like nutrients in, nutrients in like that’s the way people should be thinking.
You should be trying to get nutrients from your food and not be eating foods that are
so hollow in nutrients but excess in calories that it’s storing itself all over your body
because it can’t be eliminated and that you need to then power walk through the park
to try to like count your calories out. A Twinkie is going to be a certain amount
of calories and it’s going to clog up your intestines and leave streaks of crap all over
the place. You can’t exercise your way out of that. Weight loss for me, what I would
try to do is get people to associate weight loss with health. Weight loss can be achieved
in many different ways. Rebekah: OK. You’re just getting way too
radical. That’s too much. Weight loss and health? Michael: Associated with health. Yeah, they’re
not really connected, are they? People would come in – like I would try to explain to
some people that would ask me like what I do and how I do it and I would say, the person
that’s trying to work through some serious disease and getting into diet and fitness
and cleansing, colonics, and so on, all these things, is the same concept as the person
that’s trying to lose weight to look good in a bikini. We’re working on the same principles. And what’s the nature of the calories? That’s
the question. There are people that – I mean age sets in. I gained like 15 pounds
within three weeks of my 38th birthday. I just started to gain weight and I was like,
“Oh well, that’s interesting.” Rebekah: Do you believe that though? Do you
think that age is a contributing factor to weight gain or how easily you gain weight? Michael: It depends on what’s – yeah,
especially when people are not being active though. I lost all that weight, not intentionally
but because I just … Rebekah: I think that’s a big asterisk especially
when people are not being active. Michael: Well, listen. When somebody is 45
and they’re not being active, they can start to gain weight from eating the same foods
that they’ve been eating in the last 20 years. Yeah, your metabolism slows down a
bit. You can rev it up though. Rebekah: See, I put that statement in the
same category as I’ve had a bunch of babies so it’s harder for me to lose weight or
like stuff like that. Please, no hate comments about that statement. Michael: I have an interesting relationship
to weight when it comes to women because women’s bodies are different than men and there are
hormones in play and there’s fat needed for these hormones. And sometimes the idea
of what we want and what our body really does to create balance, they are not in alignment
and it turns into just desire and a mental game. Rebekah: That’s an interesting statement,
what we want and what out body needs are – can be very different things oftentimes especially
being a woman because I don’t want to gain 40 pounds during my pregnancy but it’s probably
what I need to. Michael: Yeah, it’s probably what needs
to happen. I remember I had a thought. I was working with some women. They were – I mean
this all comes down to aesthetics. They were fine like they looked great. They were fine.
But they had this vision of what they needed to – how much weight they needed to lose
and what they needed to look like. And at first, I was working on them – working with
them with weight loss stuff. And then I thought to myself, I thought, “Why am I going to
take part in this war, their personal war against the innate wisdom of their own body?”
Like I’m not doing that anymore. It just doesn’t make sense. And I know they want
to look a certain way but that’s not how I’m going to serve anybody, helping somebody
lose weight that way. Rebekah: Getting back to the calories in/calories
out then, if you deprive yourself of calories and you overwork yourself with exercise, you
will lose weight. The main problem is fill in the blank. Michael: It’s a source of what the calories
are. I mean somebody could eat protein and greens and exercise a lot and be very lean
and it could be a very healthy thing. It could be fine. But the idea of like I have to exercise
my calories off, generally means that somebody is not taking in calories that are nutrient-dense
and calories that leave their body very easily. You could eat a lot of calories – you’re
not going to get fat from eating sweet potatoes. You’re not. You eat bacon cheeseburgers
and you’re going to feel like you have to go to the gym because it’s going to sit
in your gut and it’s going to line your arteries and it’s going start to store itself
around your waist and you’re going to be like, “Oh shit! I need to rev up my system
now.” Rebekah: Have you ever calculated how many
calories you eat on an average day? Michael: No, never. I eat what I need when
I need it. And I’ll know what’s happening. If I eat late at night and I start to gain
weight and whatever and I go, oh yeah. And usually, it’s parallel with not feeling
great like if I’ve been working too much and eating too late at night or whatever and
I go, “Yeah, this isn’t serving me.” So then I just adapt to it. But no, I don’t
ever try to like count calories. Rebekah: I have. I’ve never calculated my
activity calories as much but I did it for a very short amount of time. It’s just too
– I mean it’s sketchy even with the caloric values of foods because they can be way off
especially when you’re talking about packaged foods. But I’m often in excess of 3,500
calories. Michael: This idea – I was just thinking
about the psychology behind this idea calories in/calories out, it creates this relationship
towards what you’re eating as something that you really need to work toward to eliminate,
almost like as if it’s a bad thing, almost as if your food is not serving you if you
have to worry about doing that. Like why are you worried about your food? Nobody does that.
Indigenous people don’t do that. They just live their lives and eat and they’re happy
and they’re fine. Nobody is like – it’s this weird psychology. It’s like if I eat
this then I have to think about this and now I have to work out really hard to get calories
in/calories out. And it’s like, what is that? What is that weird relationship? Rebekah: I mean I’ve told people to keep
a food diary not for the purposes of knowing how many calories they’re getting and how
many they’re working off. It’s just to have an understanding of what they’re actually
eating because I think people don’t – they don’t know – they don’t realize what
they’re putting inside their mouths during the day especially with snacking. That’s
a huge problem. But I don’t think that weighing yourself
or counting calories ever serves you even in the short term, even if you’re getting
results from it. I think that it messes with your psychology and it places – it puts
you in this weird relationship, this weird battle with food and the way that you move.
It’s just nothing good can come of it. It doesn’t form good habits. So, don’t do
that from the very beginning. Don’t do that from the very beginning. No counting of any
of those things. I got on the scale yesterday just because
I was curious how much weight I gained during pregnancy because someone asked me in the
comments of my video. I was like, “You know what? I’m going to figure – I’m going
to see.” And now I know. Michael: Yeah. I think people should look
at values. People should look at values when they have health concerns. Other than that,
live your life and have fun and don’t be like trying to take a quarter of an inch off
of your knee because it’s ridiculous. Rebekah: I did look at my knee fat the other
day though. I bent over only because they are getting older like my legs – I think
women have different things that age faster like the neck, the hands, the knees, these
are like the first things to go in a woman. So, I bent over and I was flexing my quadriceps
and I was – this is so ridiculous. I can’t even believe I’m admitting this on video.
But I was like, “My knees have gotten a little bit chubby and a little bit older looking.
I got to cover those up.” I’ll wear bikini and knee pads. Michael: People are going to take this the
wrong way. I understand that like I get that part of it. Like I get the – of course,
we all have a little bit of vanity because we want to look good and we want to feel sexy.
We want – so of course, we want to look good. I’m not saying everybody should just
like effort and not worry about their bodies. I mean body sculpting is cool. It’s fitness.
It’s like I get like the goal setting and stuff like that. It’s just the – I’ve
encountered a bit of the obsessive part of it that that’s where I get turned off and
I go, “You guys need to be approaching your diets differently.” Like these clients that
come in and ask for that kind of thing, I’m like diets just need to serve you. Rebekah: It was like a curiosity like I looked
at it and I was like, “Huh!” And then it was a little bit shocking. It’s an interesting
thing to see your body age especially when you feel a certain way like I feel 25. I’ll
probably always feel 25. I don’t feel – I mean physically, I feel that way. Mentally
– so to see things happening and it’s like what’s up with that? It’s like almost
like your body is betraying you. It feels so strange. Anyway … Michael: Our bodies are like the best puppies
in the world. They’re such our best friend. They always try to bring us to balance. They
always do what they need to do. Rebekah: Let me tell you. Have five kids and
you’ll see. My body is mad at me. Michael: It is, huh? Well, you treat it very
well. Rebekah: I try to. So, we are nixing – we
are saying no to calories in/calories out. It’s a thing but it’s not a good thing. Michael: Yeah. And I think it’s a bad concept.
I think it creates a negative relationship to the food we’re eating. The fact that
we think that we need to like somehow work it off. And I think if we’re eating high
quality nutrient-dense food that’s serving us, our body will find its natural weight
and that we need to body sculpt in those weight just on our level of exercise. I mean if we
want to be like – if we want to hit it hard at the gym, that’s awesome. But worrying
about the types of food you eat, calories in/calories out, usually suggest that we’re
eating something that’s not serving our bodies. Rebekah: Yeah, it’s hyper simplistic and
it’s not addressing health holistically. It’s just looking at something that’s
so simple and has nothing to do with nutrition, has nothing to do with all our other systems.
So … Michael: I’ve seen that struggle. People
trying to exercise their way out of a bad diet plateauing all the time, it’s just
like I’ve seen that struggle. Keep eating food that’s making you fat then trying to
stay ahead of it with exercise, life takes over. You’re going to miss some days at
the gym. You’re going to get older. It’s going to catch up. Better to eat nutrient-dense
food and let it serve you to the end. Rebekah: Which reminds me, I have to cancel
my gym membership that I’ve been paying for, for about 12 months and I have not gone.
So, leave – I want everyone, my people or your people, whoever is watching this video
to leave comments below on that. They can tell my why it’s still calories in/calories
out because I will get people who will say that. But yeah. Michael: Well, let them say it. Rebekah: We have lots more where this came
from including topics on veganism, health, and even recipes that you are surely going
to love. So make sure that you sign up for my newsletter at by clicking on
your screen or by following the links in the video description. And also, be sure to go
over to and find my friend, Mike Perrine, and say hello. I will see you soon in another exclusive BexLife
video. Love you!

22 thoughts on “The #1 Weight Loss Method: Calorie Counting? – BEXLIFE

  1. I am so glad you touched on two things- turning 38 and then knee fat. I was thinking I was nuts! Bam I gained weighed on a healthy diet I have eaten for years, even exercise has not changed this so I accepted it ☺️👍
    One place in the knees. But I will find out what exercise will help this if any, it does stink because a girl has to wear shorts in the south. It is sad that it happens to us so young, maybe 80 or 90 but not in our late 30s!

  2. And… i work out like crazy but my diet is up and down. It was good 2 hear it again, abs are made in the kitchen.

  3. I get so sucked into the calorie counting, MyFitnessPal and all that stuff so I avoid i like the plague now! It is a rocky road to being obsessed, stressing out over food and generally having a negative relationship with your healthy lifestyle.
    Eat good food, move your body and have fun! Calorie counting is so boring 🙂

  4. As much as I agree with what Mike was saying and with Rebecca, it didn't sound like a two way conversation. This sounded like two one way conversations! A bit strange.

  5. Great video. I agree with you both on so many levels; however, I think at times there is benefit in tracking your food, not for calories but for nutrition. When I first started a vegan diet, it was helpful for me to see what I was lacking ( I was often not meeting RDA in calcium, potassium, iron, and protein.). Tracking my nutrition made me more aware of what foods I needed to be eating more of.

  6. I planned to start weight watchers (for the 4th time) but my mind was telling me it has be simpler than all the number crunching(that I was not looking forward to). This video just cleared it all up for me, I guess hearing someone else say it just confirmed it for me. It is simple feed you body what needs, and be active. Great inspiration,thanks guys.

  7. I 100% agree that weighing and calorie counting are psychologically harmful. I can feel comfortable in my body, look the way I want, able to wear the clothes I feel make me look the best. But as soon as I get on the scale, my mind goes to this really negative space and then I start worrying about numbers rather than what my BODY is TELLING ME!

  8. I regret starting to count calories. I'm vegan and before that I was a vegetarian for 3 years. I do focus a lot on food combination, getting enough nutrients and fibre and I don't calculate exercise calories (anymore). But I counted calories (and still do although I'm trying to stop) and I set myself restrictions that kept getting lower. From 1200, to 1000 to 900… It was even 500 at one point. And honestly, I don't recommend it to anyone. I really want to stop, but it's become compulsive. I think it's more important to listen to your body, and counting calories sometimes gets in the way of that. So if you can, don't start, and if you are, try to stop!! Food is good, if it's healthy and balanced and nutritious. 

  9. I have done the calorie counting myself. But more so just to kno what i was putting in my mouth and shifting into healthier food choices as well as exercising more. I had lost 45 lbs in six months from just that. Unfortunately life throws curve balls and im trying to get back on track again cuz i miss having all that energy and feeling good everyday i woke up. But i agree that the obsessive behavior with calories is bad but if your doing more of just a "wat am i putting in my mouth? " then it's not so bad.

  10. Let me just say that I love this girl.. 5 babies later and she looks like a Queen. Mike is so refreshing, so knowledgeable.. and Look at his skin OMG it looks so great.. he is definitely doing it right. As time ticks by, as I get older, as my body changes, I see the need to simplify my diet, to eat less meat, to eat more raw, to eat less sugars, to be less stressed. Life is about fun, laughter, joy, and good times. Its not about how many calories are coming and going,  or about working your butt off.. I think if we truly listen to our bodies they will tell us what we need to know.

  11. So Im a person who is really over weight and have health issues… 1 Im traditional African American (ie soul food diet) 5'4 almost 300 lbs!! I have the Traditional AA health issues diabetes and high blood pressure at age 31… my doctor suggest calorie diet and exercise…but after watch your videos Im thinking that maybe I should focus on Eating healthier more than counting calories and exercise or no? Im confused as to what is the best for me…

  12. I want to know more about how to avoid weight gain when getting older . or what to do if that happens … what's Mikes story when he turned 38 and gained weight and lost it . pleeeeeeease

  13. what do you do if you exersize and eat the same foods you've been eating for years , doing great ,and then all of a sudden start gaining weight ( from getting older) , what more can you do

  14. You can count calories and still be health conscious. Besides, fruits and vegetables are not as calorie dense and it becomes obvious very soon that the healthier foods are not something to worry about. This video and ones like it create a false dichotomy, assuming a person is either concerned only with the quality of their diet or the quantity of fuel. I use both as information and it works very well. I also don't go crazy trying to burn off the extra calories. If I eat 1000 calories over my plan one day, I don't automatically think "oh I have to burn all of that off now!", I might think I just ate too much and will try not to do that again, because chances are I probably did overeat. It's also important to know accurately how many calories you should be eating, and not just trying to keep it as low as possible. That is destructive, but starvation is not calorie counting. They're two different things. This video just makes a ton of assumptions about the mindset/approach involved. I see counting calories as very neutral, because it's just information. You can use it in a destructive, obsessive way or just as a helpful guideline.

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