Why Are You Polyamorous Now? | Eating With My Ex: Rose and Matt

Why Are You Polyamorous Now? | Eating With My Ex: Rose and Matt


Why are you polyamorous now? When I was with Matt, it was very… Our relationship was very exciting,
it was very fun. Things started to go wrong because
we were having communication issues and that meant we started
to not trust each other. When Matt and I were together, I didn’t know he had
any mental health issues. After me and Rose broke up, I realised that something wasn’t
right and I started to pursue help and was eventually diagnosed
with bipolar disorder. Thank you. So Matt, if your bipolar had
been diagnosed earlier, do you think would still be
together? I think it’s a possibility. Because I think that would have
changed the way we’d talk about things and the things I would have
spotted that I needed to avoid and needed to tell you about. Like, I probably would have dealt
with things very differently. Yes. Things going on with money
and my work situation and, obviously, my health was
starting to deteriorate at that point and we talked things
over and she decided she couldn’t… She couldn’t cope with it any more. You saw what I’d come home, like,
I’d be like a zombie and I think that put a strain
on our relationship, as well. Yeah. You’d be like,
“But you’re home!” Yeah, “It’s Friday!” Yeah, and I was
just, “I’m dreading going back in “to work on Monday, I hate it”. I think that started to crush me
a bit, I felt trapped by it cos I was like, “What am I
going to do? I’m trapped”. There were certain things
you weren’t telling me, like, we weren’t communicating
very well. Yeah. So I kind of started
to not trust you as much as I did in the beginning. My mental health was influencing
the way I communicated with Rose, the feelings I would have,
I couldn’t quite understand, I couldn’t express them
and I would act erratically, so I imagine she found it really
difficult to understand what I’m doing and why I’m doing it. It just turned into like,
a shame spiral for me, the worse it got,
the harder it was to say anything and I didn’t have the words to explain some of
what was going on. I think the thing that most people
miss with bipolar is it often looks like just depression
and/or anxiety. But that’s really obvious to see,
a lot of the time. But then I’d have these… It’s the hypomania. It just comes across as me being
in a really good mood and being really my best self
and charming self. You don’t always notice it. Doctors don’t often notice it
because the patient feels good, why would they report
that there’s a problem? Mm. I know a lot of people just don’t
talk about it cos they worry, “Oh, are my friends going to
think I’m weird? “Are they going to think
I’m high-maintenance?” It’s so much closer to home than you
realise, like people don’t realise how many people they know close to
them may have something. I’d say I’ve learned to be a bit
more sort of patient with people and kind of understand them a bit
more and sort of get to know how people tick and how they feel
rather than just assuming things, actually communicate with people. Have you seen me change
since my diagnosis? Yes. You’ve become more reliable,
I think, more reliable to your friends and little things – like, your
timekeeping has got a lot better. You’ve become more determined as
a person, like, determined to work hard and to get things done
and get what you want done. I’m in a much better place now, receiving really good treatment,
and I’m currently polyamorous. So when Matt told me that
he’s polyamorous, at first, it was quite a weird,
um…weird thing to hear, cos I kind of thought… “Oh, was he not happy just with me
when we were together?” So, Matt… Why are you polyamorous now? I’m polyamorous now
for a few reasons. The top one is to do with
my mental health. I wouldn’t say, “Oh, polyamorous
people have mental health issues”, but they’re more aware of them,
I think, because there’s so much
communication that HAS to be done. After our relationship, I thought it’s so rare to find
a relationship like that. I don’t think I could find that in
one person again, so… that’s a compliment to you. Matt seems happier now,
being polyamorous. I’m not seeing anyone at the moment, cos I’m still putting
my mental health first and finishing treatment. Do you think we will
always be friends? Yes. I think we’ll always be
best friends, I can’t imagine not being friends
with you. Ah. Me too.
Definitely, yeah. Me too. And I…wanted to say…thank you
and… I’m sorry for how difficult
it was for you. cos I really did put you through
a lot of times and the fact that you’d still be
friends with me after all of that says a lot about your character
and I really am grateful. Hearing Matt’s apology to me
about his behaviour when he was suffering
with mental health problems, it was really lovely to hear that,
to hear him say sorry. I know that Matt and I will be
friends forever. My advice to any couple dealing with mental illness is, it does get better and it won’t always be easy, but as you learn to understand what’s going on, you’ll find it easier to communicate and the more you communicate, the better it gets.

100 thoughts on “Why Are You Polyamorous Now? | Eating With My Ex: Rose and Matt

  1. Someone need to tell him to take the eyebrow percing out and go get it redone, that thing is running away from your face, it's looks like it's glued on at this point.

  2. He is focused on his mental health and she is a very forgiving person.
    It is like being with three people when someone has mental issues. I doubt it gets better . It is like a rolletcoaster

  3. I'd like to do this with myself: meet up in a restaurant, see if we get on, talk about why it all went wrong, could we make it work in the future..

  4. this was the best one relationship wise everyone else hate their ex or one was in love and the other was not

  5. They are really sweet and understanding of each other ! And yes they look like kindred spirits almost mirroring each other physically.

  6. THY look like brother and sister
    I no a couple that have like 6 kids an I swear I thought thy was brother an sister when I met them thy look just alike

  7. Nope, not your responsibility to take on the brunt of mental illness in a partner, seems like he still has a lot of work to do to know himself

  8. I called BS bipolar never gets better, you have to continually tweak medicine or change the type of medicine and sometime the medicines make you worse. I take lithium so there is the added stress of kidney issues so no i don’t believe it gets better.

  9. I understand he has these mental health problems but he lit made this just about him and she seemed a little bored of him just blaming everything on his problems and everything about HIM

  10. This date is all about him listen he only says me I or myself never how are you or what’s going on with you he only talks about himself

  11. I could never date a guy that looks like he's out of bed all the time, come on this look it's not really flattering 🤣🤣

  12. I love how the most highest rated comments are cheap shots in regards to their physical appearances as opposed to comments about how genuinely respectful and mature they both are.

  13. Seem like nice people. You wonder with Polyamorous, it will be a strain on emotions and intimacy. It's a profoundly different alien perspective on love and connections, and you wonder how many men never entertained that it is an option? "You'll do it?" "Well I am one then.. When I find number 2"

    I saw a video and this American girl said that after studying polyamorous couples that the girls found the practice easier to make happen.

  14. I'm so happy he decided to get help, and he didnt just blame her for the breakup. A very healthy and educational conversation.

  15. Yeez,how could a sweet lady date such a nasty filthy man?Not because he is bipolar or whatever,he is nasty..lol

  16. I don't know why poly people tend to be not very attractive? You would think someone can have multiple partners by attracting them look wise at first. Not saying they're not good people though, just first attraction.

  17. The worst piercing you could ever have. Eye brow piercings are lame when they are done well, but wtf does he have on his face?

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